Rain
by prettyichigo
Summary: Rain masquerades as a bringer of life and promise, even as it leaves nothing but pain and destruction in its wake. This story gives the reader a glimpse of the pain behind Chiba Mamoru's eyes and the friendship offered by Tsukino Usagi.


Rain

By: prettyichigo (formerly moonbunny83)

Sailor Moon created by: Naoko Takeuchi

Inspired by the song "Cry" (produced by James Renald and Peter Mokran, and sung by Mandy Moore)

© 2001 EMI BLACKWOOD (CANADA) MUSIC LTD. AND AUDIO SPUNK

Hello, all. I was originally moonbunny83, but I lost access to both my and old e-mail accounts. So after all these years, I ended up creating a new one.

I am in the process of heavily re-writing and revising all of my old stories. I hope you enjoy this one!

Just a couple of things, while I did use some honorifics, I decided not to use any between Usagi and Mamoru. I wanted to keep their relationship ambiguous. Also, the points-of-view do change within the story. I hope it doesn't cause any confusion.

* * *

Tsukino Usagi released a deep sigh as she gazed at the sleeping Chiba Mamoru. She couldn't believe that a sophisticated college guy like him would actually be interested in befriending some plain junior high girl like her. This is where she was mistaken, however. To Mamoru, she was anything, but plain. She is always so full of life, so energetic, so lively, and so spontaneous – though spontaneity was probably not always a good trait for Sailor Moon to have.

She nestled herself closer in the sofa as she continued watching the oblivious Mamoru. They were in his apartment having another one of their study sessions in an effort to help her pull her grades up before the end of the semester. Unfortunately, it would seem that Mamoru hasn't been getting enough sleep lately. She was aware that Mamoru has been trying to juggle his work, college, and their newfound friendship. Like that wasn't bad enough, all of his professors assigned research papers to be done by the end of the week.

Usagi grasped her pencil and made an attempt to solve the problems in front of her. All she saw were hazy figures and she realized that she was also tired. As her eyes drifted close, she could hear the sound of raindrops as they gently pelted the windowpane. The sound of rain brought comfort to her as she once again glanced at Mamoru. Though his countenance looked peaceful, a strong aura surrounded him like a cloak of steel - cold and unreachable. And yet, she knew better. Mamoru afforded her the opportunity to see the man beneath the hard exterior. She smiled contentedly as she remembered that fateful late afternoon when she was first given a glimpse of a very vulnerable Chiba Mamoru.

**FLASHBACK**

* * *

USAGI'S POINT OF VIEW

Ugh. Again. I did it again. As much as I had tried to be on time, I was late. Again. Rei-chan is going to skin my hide this time. I ran as fast as I could down the seemingly long street. This was one of those cases that I was glad I was Sailor Moon. Fighting off youma sure is a great way to stay in shape. I looked up at the darkening sky and frowned. It looked like it was going to pour any minute. I better be safe and sound – and dry, inside the temple by then.

I decided to take a short cut across the park. I swerved myself to the left and ran towards a grove of trees. After covering several feet, I abruptly stopped at the unfolding scene in front of me. I took a few seconds to catch my breath as I realized who it was. I'd know him anywhere. Besides that unmistakably dark hair of his, his presence practically radiates with coldness.

I shivered and wrapped my arms around me in an attempt to warm myself. Did the weather cause the shiver or something else? I silently stood there and watched him grasp his head in what appeared to be pain. I felt guilty for spying on him like this even if he is a jerk. I turned around to leave when I suddenly saw him wipe his face as if to rid himself of tears. I stopped one more time and gave him a scrutinizing look.

He couldn't possibly be crying. Guys like him don't cry. Guys like him don't show any emotions. He's so cold; his tears would probably freeze in their tracks if he did cry. I'd bet my cat Luna that he thinks crying is a sign of weakness.

I quietly approached him to get a better look, making sure he didn't hear my shuffling feet. I gasped at what I saw. Tears ran down his haggard face, unchecked. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to do. Should I try to comfort him? Ask him what was wrong? Ask him what had made him cry? He'd probably think me a pest if I tried. But he looked so sad. I couldn't stand seeing him like this. I had to make a decision.

Straightening my shoulders, I headed towards him, no longer caring if he heard me or not. I halted once again when he abruptly turned in the opposite direction and started walking away. My shoulders fell as I stood watching once more. I felt so affected, I was speechless. It's not like I've never seen men cry. My own father had shed a tear or two in my lifetime. But with Mamoru, it seemed so different.

Then and there, I felt something. I didn't know what it was, but there was one thing I was sure of. I felt changed.

* * *

MAMORU'S POINT OF VIEW

I stared at the dark, gray sky bitterly and scoffed. It perfectly complimented my mood at the moment. My face was void of all emotions as I continually recalled that hideous car accident when I was only a child. I couldn't remember a single thing before that.

"You have amnesia," the doctors said.

"Your parents died in the crash," the doctors said.

"You have to live in an orphanage," the doctors said.

I clutched my head between my fisted hands in agony. I could still hear their mocking voices. They didn't care about me. All they wanted was to be rid of me as quickly as possible. I took a staggering breath and slowly lowered my hands to my side.

I can't remember their faces. I can't even remember if they loved me. They must have loved me. I don't think I could bear it if they didn't… I've never known love – to love or be loved.

One thing I do remember was rain. It rained that night. Hard. How I despise rain. Rain masquerades as a bringer of life and promise, even as it leaves nothing but pain and destruction in its wake.

I angrily swiped at the tears that had dared make their presence known. I hadn't even realized I was crying until a solitary tear crept down my chin and onto my neck. I have never before cried ever since my parents passed away and it surprised me that I did so now. I grew up believing that crying was a sign of weakness. I sure felt weak at the moment. Disgusted with myself, I abruptly turned my back on the dark, gray sky and decided to head back to my lonely apartment. It was bound to rain soon and what little memories it carries with it, I'd rather leave out here in the park.

THE FOLLOWING DAY

The bells rang as a familiar odango-haired teenager made her way inside the arcade. Her long ponytails trailed lazily behind her. Plopping herself down on one of the booths, she called for Furuhata Motoki.

"Motoki-kun!" Usagi yelled across the customer-filled room.

Upon hearing her ungracious holler, Motoki grinned and slowly advanced towards her. "What's up Usagi-chan?" he inquired, that silly grin still on his face.

Seeing the expression, she quickly hung her head and apologized in a sheepish voice. "Sorry I yelled like that."

Motoki removed his apron and sat across from her. "Don't worry about it," he assured her. "It was beginning to get a little too quiet in here anyway."

Usagi blushed and cleared her throat. "Well, I only wanted to say hi."

"All right."

"So…," she trailed off then greeted in a cheerful tone, "Hi!"

Motoki laughed and responded, "Hi, Usagi-chan." After calming himself down, he continued. "How come you're all by yourself today? Where are those four girls and that cat I always see you with?"

"Oh! You mean Rei-chan, Mina-chan, Mako-chan, Ami-chan, and Luna?"

"Yep. Who else?"

"Well, Rei-chan is busy meditating, Ami-chan is studying as always; and last I checked, Mako-chan and Mina-chan went to the mall guy shopping."

"Guy… What?" Motoki raised an eyebrow, confused.

"Um…," Usagi stuttered. "It's a girl thing. You wouldn't be interested at all!" She looked at him awkwardly.

"What about the cat?" he asked, deciding to forget and ignore what girls seem to like doing these days.

Usagi sighed in relief when he changed the topic and answered, "Luna? Who knows? I never know what that fur ball does when she's not chewing my head off. She's probably with Artemis."

"Artemis… He's another cat, right?"

"Yeah. He's Mina-chan's." Motoki suddenly had a weird look on his face and actually let out what sounded to be a snort. "Motoki-kun, are you okay?" she asked, worried that he's finally gone bonkers.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just imagining cats on dates." He chuckled. "Silly, huh?"

"Not really. Luna and Artemis have gone on dates before." She stopped for a second then added, "Of course, they would never admit it even if you tortured them."

Motoki stared at her, stunned. "They have what?" he asked incredulously.

Usagi suddenly had the feeling that he thought her a lunatic. "Um… Nothing! Never mind. Forget what I said!"

He gave her a funny look and shook his head disbelievingly. He stood up and tied back his apron around his waist. "Did you want anything?"

"Just a double fudge brownie milkshake, please," she ordered, all the while smiling.

Motoki smiled back. "One double fudge brownie milkshake coming right up!" He gave an exaggerated bow and left to make her drink.

Usagi quietly waited as she started thinking about what happened yesterday afternoon. She still couldn't believe it and she saw everything with her own eyes. She sighed, so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the bell announce someone's arrival.

Mamoru grudgingly dragged himself inside the arcade. He looked up and saw Motoki busy making what appeared to be a chocolate milkshake. He went straight to his blond best friend and said in a flat voice, "Give me the usual." With that said, he sat in one of the stools in an annoyed manner.

Motoki, shocked at his unusually rude behavior, - to him anyways - placed Usagi's milkshake on the counter and stared at Mamoru. When Mamoru didn't say anything, he threw up his hands in frustration. "All right, Mamoru. What is the matter with you?"

"What do you mean, Motoki?"

"I mean that you're more rude than usual."

"Thanks, bud," he replied sarcastically. "I could always count on you to cheer me up."

Motoki only grinned. "Nah," he objected. "That's Usagi-chan's department and here she comes now." He looked over Mamoru's shoulders and waited. Mamoru turned around and sure enough, an impatient looking blonde was making her way towards them.

Usagi came up and addressed Motoki in a teasing voice, "Can I have my milkshake now, Motoki-kun?"

"What? Oh." Motoki looked at her apologetically and handed over the forgotten shake. "Sorry about that."

"Forget about it. I was feeling lonely over there by myself anyway." She seated herself down, took a sip from her milkshake, and gave her attention to the silent man sitting next to her. "Hi, Mamoru." Mamoru only grunted in response. Usagi, pretending she knew nothing, asked Motoki, "What's eating him?"

Motoki shrugged his shoulders and gave Mamoru his 'usual' - a cup of coffee, black, no sugar. "I was hoping you could get it out of him," Motoki replied. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but there are other customers waiting for me. Talk to both of you later." With that, he left Mamoru and Usagi alone.

* * *

USAGI'S POINT OF VIEW

Now what? Should I tell him I saw him yesterday? Maybe I shouldn't. After all, I'd probably only embarrass him. I should say something though, but what? It's obvious I would have to be the one to break the ice. Well, here goes nothing.

"Nice weather we're having, huh?" I cringed. Dumb, Usagi, really dumb. That's not the way to start a conversation! Like that hasn't been used before.

Mamoru looked at me in disbelief. "Nice weather?" he repeated. "It rained nonstop yesterday afternoon and the roads are practically flooded."

"Well, the rain finally stopped and that makes it a nice weather compared to yesterday," I defended myself. "And besides, the roads aren't flooded at all. Just some puddles here and there."

"Whatever."

That went well. He's ignoring me again. Now what? Ugh. I've already asked myself that question and I still don't know the answer.

I took a deep breath and finally decided to go straight to the topic. "Mamoru, is anything the matter?"

Mamoru once again looked at me. I thought I saw something flicker in his eyes, something like emotion – exactly what specifically, I couldn't tell. It disappeared as quickly as it had come. Maybe I was wrong about him being cold. Maybe… Just maybe, he actually feels emotions like normal people.

"Don't worry about me Odango Atama. It's nothing I can't handle." He stood up and said, "I appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. See you later, Usagi." He affectionately tousled my hair and left.

I watched him leave the arcade with his shoulders sagging. It was so unlike him. He usually struts like a peacock, but not anymore. Not only that. He actually didn't make any snide remarks other than that horrid nickname. And he only used it once. He actually acted nicely to me, too. I suppose stranger things have happened.

I finished my milkshake and made myself a promise. I will find out what was bothering him. When I saw him crying, something changed inside me. I don't know what, but I am determined to find out. I have to. It feels like everything depended on me. And I will find out.

* * *

MAMORU'S POINT OF VIEW

I took a hard swallow of my coffee as soon as Motoki left. I was well aware of the blonde sitting next to me, but I decided to ignore her. I didn't know what to say so I centered all my attention to the dark cup of coffee I held in my hand.

"Nice weather we're having, huh?" I heard her remark.

I looked at her and thought maybe she has gone nuts. It rained so hard yesterday and didn't stop until early this morning. It was almost flooded outside as well. Well, to me anyways. I mentioned this to her and winced when her face fell as she tried to defend herself. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, and I hated myself for hurting her. I couldn't seem to say anything nice to her no matter how hard I tried and thus I ignored her again.

She turned silent for about a minute which I knew was a hard feat for her. Then, all too soon, the bomb was dropped.

"Mamoru, is anything the matter?"

I stared at her, at those cerulean orbs of hers that seem to hold concern for me. I slowly felt my walls begin to crumble.

Almost.

I stood up at the same time telling her I was fine – that she had nothing to worry herself about. As an afterthought, I lightly mussed her hair with one hand. Appalled at what I had done, I left, feeling even more miserable than before.

LATE IN SEPTEMBER

Usagi slowly walked home, giving the dark, gray sky a look of disbelief. 'I don't believe it. It looks like it's going to rain hard again. Just like that day when Mamoru…,' her thoughts trailed off. "I still can't get over it… Seeing him cry…" she pondered out loud.

She rolled her stiff shoulders and stretched her arms out. She has just finished training with the other girls and her muscles felt raw. Rolling her neck from side to side, she stopped halfway. She thought she saw someone heading towards the park - someone who looked amazingly like Mamoru.

'It's about to rain… Why would he-." She halted her musings and right away knew that something was wrong. She's seen this before. Frowning, she quickly ran after Mamoru.

Making her way to the park, Usagi saw Mamoru kneeling on the soft ground, clutching the grass, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

"Mamoru," she murmured, slowing down her pace. As if hearing her, Mamoru looked up. She held in a gasp when she saw his tears. She knelt down in front of him and carefully took him in her arms. He sobbed like a child, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She felt his tears on her skin and became aware of her own, streaming down her face. Usagi held him like that, waiting for him to get his composure back. And he did, after a while.

Mamoru moved out of her embrace and apologized in a cracked, hoarse voice, his head bowed down. "Usagi, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" she scowled. "What for? Mamoru, look at me, please." When he did, his eyes still blurred with tears, she continued in a softer tone. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't know what's causing you so much pain and I don't need to know. What I do know is that you shouldn't feel the need to shut people out. You have friends around you – friends who will lend you their shoulders to cry on."

Mamoru stared at her and saw genuine concern shining from her eyes. He finds it difficult to believe that she actually cared. He can trust her with his feelings, he decided. "I, I just feel so alone all the time." His voice broke.

Usagi gave him a bright smile and softly chided, "You're not alone, Mamoru. Let me be clear on this. You have me, Motoki-kun, Rei-chan, Mina-chan, Mako-chan, Ami-chan, Luna, Artemis, and a whole lot of other people."

"Really?" he voiced hopefully.

"Really."

"But do they love me . . ."

"Aah . . . Mamoru, we're your friends. Of course we love you."

Mamoru gave her a small smile. "Thanks, Usagi. I needed to hear that. Even though it's still hard for me to accept, it's a comfort to know that such a thing is possible. Thanks for listening."

Usagi gave him a friendly peck on the cheek, surprising both Mamoru and herself. "Glad to be of help. Now that you've realized that I would like to be friends, maybe you can stop with the teasing?"

"Hmmm… Maybe."

With an exasperated sigh, Usagi replied "Baby steps, I suppose." She stood up, pulling him with her. It was then that she realized that they were soaked to the skin. "Well, what do you know?" she laughed. "It's raining."

Mamoru laughed along. "Yeah… I guess we've been too preoccupied to notice." He took her hand in his and together, they left the park and the dark gray sky, their laughter overwhelming the sound of the pounding rain.

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

USAGI'S POINT OF VIEW

That afternoon showed me a world outside my own. Catching a glimpse of the real Mamoru really changed me. I judged him so unfairly. I should have known the face he showed the world was a mask and that he hid behind insults. It took a rainy day for me to finally open my eyes and heart to the pain he tries so hard to hide from others. He still keeps his feelings hidden deep inside, but when I saw him cry back then, I realized that forever was in his eyes. He believed that he'd be alone forever. I shook my head slowly.

Gazing at him now as he slept, his face unmasked, he looked peaceful. Someday, he'll open up to me. Someday, he'll tell me what caused those tears, the loneliness he felt. In the meantime, I'll be there for him, even if all I can do is listen.

My head fell on the table before me as I finally gave in to sleep, smiling as I hear the last raindrop graze the window and see the light from the sun through my closed eyes. I can almost imagine a rainbow peeking between clouds, heralding a promise made between friends.

END

* * *

Thank you for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated!

-prettyichigo


End file.
